At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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