According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
