I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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