I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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