I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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