Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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