Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
