Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
zippers are such a cool invention
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
