Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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