what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
