Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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