i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
