Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
