1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
