Don't you send me to vm
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
