Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
