Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
