Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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