his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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