I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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