Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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