Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
