Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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