i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
