i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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