I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
