let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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