How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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