he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
zippers are such a cool invention
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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