i permit you to call me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
