thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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