His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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