i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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