Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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