I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Need sex. Gaining weight.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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