; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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