he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
