dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
