Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
