High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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