is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
