Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
