Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
