At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
