the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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