Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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