Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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