you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
