Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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