Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
