I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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