it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
