I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dick pics just arenβt doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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