I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
PANTIES FOUND
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