dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
