Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize