She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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