You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
