I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
