how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
