You made me cry and you don't even care
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
