I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
