Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
