so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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