i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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